Closing
Emily | Wednesday, July 1, 2009 at 5:15PM This week I closed on property that had been part of my life for almost a dozen years. Closed as in ... cleared out, cleaned out, moved the utilities to another’s name. It is strange to me that whether you buy or sell a house, you still use the word close for the ending action. I have never been a fan of good-byes, always crying at the likes of “Snoopy, Come Home” or “The Tigger Movie” where Tigger utters the phrase, “T.T.F.E. Ta. Ta. For. Ever.” Get the towel please. I am blubbering over here.
On Sunday, I hauled away a final load and made a pass through a house and garage that I was once so happy to own. Time slips by, leaving joy and wreckage along the right of way.
At this space and place once called home ...
my former husband and I slept on a mattress on the floor so excited to have bought this property.
my older daughter Riley lost her first tooth while brushing before bedtime on her 5th birthday.
my younger daughter Ryann came home as an infant.
my mother planted tiny Crepe Myrtles that now tower above my head.
Santa and Rudolph came with Big Wheels and Barbies on their sleigh.
dreams were conceived and attempted, some reached, some failed.
Goodnight Moon was whispered in the shadows of a crib.
blankets were drug along floors.
we lost our dog Denver.
promises and hearts were broken.
a marriage unraveled.
the scent of aftershave, race car, Dial soap, hardwork, and desperation lingers in the walls.
hope was released.
memories wait for a visit.
I don’t know how you ever really close off parts of your life. I think Carole King’s song at the beginning of “A League of their Own,” sums it up:
Now and forever you are a part of me
And the memory cuts like a knife
Didn't we find the ecstasy
Didn't we share the daylight
When you walked within my life.
Every place we live, everything we touch, every person we know, we collect into our lives. Forever they are a part of us ... even after the closing.
Reader Comments (6)
Wise words. I know it's hard to close portions of our lives. So much so, I wonder after reading this, if perhaps there are areas in my life that require closure but I've never done it, never severed the ties. What great, new opportunities wait in the wings, ready to storm stage after I clear the old set to make way for them?
Thanks for the insightful post.
Emily, you have a way of using words that leads me to almost feel I've experienced the memories you've lived. I was moved by what I read here. When I finished reading, I was sad...for a minute or two. Then I remembered what you've shared about all those other chicks with whom you surround yourself, and I and my imagination had a fine time making up fun little stories about the spectacular ways they're no doubt already distracting you. And I knew for certain that you'll be all right. That you already are.
Thank you for this post. I admire your candor and vulnerability.
I, too, believe that we are shaped by the people and events in our lives...on purpose. It is no accident that you entered my life at a time that I needed your wise and insightful support the most! Glad to be a permanent part of your life!
Thanks friend for sharing your intimate thoughts with us!
Love ya chick!
You have talent and choose not to "close" it off to the Universe but be open to it. That takes courage. We are better for it. Thanks for allowing God to work as you. Great message--captivating!! P.S. I worked really hard to check my spelling, "How'd I do?"
I am blessed to call you friend, sister chick, spazz, hero, insightful, loud, warm, reliable!!! Thanks for warming my soul. Again. Thanks for helping me to remember that doors need closing. The blessing is that new doors always open. I just hope I walk through (not fall into) the one that leads me on the right path!!! Rich, Y'did darn tootin' my friend!!! Thanks for the perspective and thanks for being in my universe! Love ya!
i am crying here Emily. Thanks for the memories. i have gone through some things myself that i need to close and let go of. this has helped me to appreciate what is and move on.
Did you ever write that book you were working on???