Freshman Fear

As my daughter Riley and I pulled up to her first day of high school, she fired off the following litany of sentences. I did not answer. With the teenage species, it is better to avoid direct eye contact and treat conversation as rhetorical.

Riley:

Oh my God, why did I wear plaid? No one else is wearing plaid.

I hate my braces. Why do I have braces? They just make my already huge lips stick out farther. The only thing bigger than my lips is my nose and, oh yeah, my football field of a forehead. Thanks for your genetics, Mom.

Okay, there’s another girl in plaid. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. I hope I have everything.

Me:

Baby, get out now and have a great day. I love you.

Riley:

Bye Mom.

And there she went. Just like that, my firstborn, a freshman in high school.

I wish I could take away her fears and doubt. I wish I could convey that high school can be awesome. All those football games, proms, homecomings, school plays, tests, and relationships help form and shape you, but having or not having any of those things is NOT the end of the world. The world begins new every day. The slate always is and always will be there for your own personal painting.

I will just keep my genetically flawed, humongous forehead down and let Riley experience and grow. I will smile, laugh, cry, direct, discipline, and be proud as she makes her way through the next four years, preparing her to be a freshman again and again, moving towards her design.

The truth is that unless you never change, you will always have freshman moments. They will await you at a new job, a new relationship, a new church, a new neighborhood, a new business networking event. Just remember to feel the fear and do it anyway. It's the only way you will ever venture out of your comfort zone. Just don't make the mistake of wearing plaid, it will surely be your undoing.

I am reminded all the time that it’s not as much what my children learn from me, as it is what I learn from them.