On Saturday, I was headed to meet my brother, Andy, to do a Charity Bike Ride. The money raised went towards cancer research. Cool. The ride was hosted in our hometown. Even cooler. It was early and my youngest daughter and I stopped at a gas station in Carthage (the place where I grew up, the small town of which I am a native, the place of my formative years, the county where I now own what was once my parent’s farm and pay taxes, you get the picture) for a potty break. Gas was more expensive than in Greensboro, but I thought to myself ... I should support this local economy and fill up here. My car wasn’t even registering light-on, warning-bell-rang, not-many-miles-until-you-run-out empty, which is usually how I roll.
I slid my credit card and started the pump which I thought would stop automatically like all normal, well working pumps do and went inside the store. It was when I came out of the bathroom that two attendants and a customer alerted me that the gas had “done run’t over.” Outside, my neighbor gas pumper told me he stopped it for me and only $4 had spilled onto the concrete. I went back inside to pay for my bottled water and apologized to the smirking clerk. When I returned outside, a police officer stood by my car. (No, I am not making this up.) Deputy Fife said, “Ma’am, if you abandon your vehicle again while pumping gas, I will have to issue you a citation.” It did not help that my disposition that Deputy Fife was shorter than me and about the age of Doogie Houser.
The following responses flashed through my head ...
Abandoned? It’s not like I went to the friggen’ beach, I just went inside to pee!
A citation? Bring it on; I hope you have more than one citation in your little book, because, Deputy Doogie, you are going to need them when I finish with you.
A citation for leaving my car while pumping gas? Imagine the threat that all us 40-something bicycle riders are inflicting upon our nation. Shouldn’t you radio for Homeland Security?
A citation? Please by all means, write the citation. Can you spell it? Do you need to borrow a pen or did your Mommy pack one for you in your Scooby Doo lunch box?
This story would be so much more interesting if I had said any of the things I thought. I sort of wish right now that I had acted upon my impulse of outrage, compounded by all of the things in our country that make no sense to me and whipped the officer’s ass. My imaginary 6 o’clock news footage shows me riding away in the back of the squad car, handcuffed and smiling. But, no, I just said, “Okay,” to the officer as the station employees dramatically scattered cat litter over my spill. The Exxon Valdez and me, we are real menaces to society.
The next day, yes, a mere 24 hours post me almost starring in the next episode of “Cops,” I was listening to a speaker and his topic was ... “Turning Rebuke into Wisdom.” Modern day translation of rebuke was the f word. Yep, you guessed it, ... feedback.
I listened to the speaker and thought of all the ways I could justify my defensive, obnoxious reaction to Deputy Doogie and let me tell you, none of my reasons were compelling, not even to me.
I have heard it said that “Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” To which I respond, “Bullshit.” Bo-berry biscuits, coffee, hash rounds, a few Advil, and a shot of liquor ... that is the breakfast of champions. Feedback? Well, it all depends on who it comes from and how it is delivered.
When I read or hear, “Feedback welcome.” I think, Hmmmmmm. Maybe that could more accurately be described as: “Praise welcome. Feedback dismissed or tolerated.” A trip down feedback lane often feels like driving into oncoming traffic. After hearing the perspective on gaining wisdom from rebuke, I am challenged to think that perhaps that is the fool’s response. Maybe those who pursue wisdom take it all in stride and reap from the messages that others are brave and caring enough to relay. There are even moments when we can glean from criticism, if only the analysis of our own reaction. These thoughts remind me that I am still much the Grasshopper with much to learn.
So, if you have some feedback for me, I will have some time this week, at least 5 minutes or so, while I stand beside my car at the gas pump, gainfully rebuked.